It which must not be named.

Image credit: Capture Queen on Flickr

Fear. The feeling inside you of no control, absolute terror, deep anxiety, complete and utter confusion of what you should do.

Ever want to feel fear? Like you have no idea what is going on or when things will turn around? Start a company and wait. You’ll feel it.

It’s the feeling of being a solo business owner.

Starting my business was terrifying. It wasn’t just signing papers and saying “I am a business owner”…it was knowing that every day from now until I retire, I will have to work my butt off to make business happen, and that being successful would not come easy. It would take hours, very long hours, working to figure out how to get clients, keep current clients happy and keep my life in focus. I knew this going in, but that didn’t make it easier. I have ever fiber in my body dedicated to making my business awesome, but that doesn’t make it happen.

Some days are awesome…in fact some weeks and months are awesome too. And then there are those days I am praying to anything and anyone for them to end and for the next to be better. I am at the mercy of the public – and their vacations, budgets and realities. I don’t know if the phone will ring, emails will come in, clients will hire me. I can’t force someone to have the budget to hire me, and I can’t combat all excuses. I can’t fix every problem, and there are some clients that just won’t fit with me. No matter what I do, I can’t (and won’t) be everything to everyone at every budget. Which means that I will never have every client. Sometimes the fear lasts a couple days, sometimes it’s longer.

Luckily, I know I am not alone. I have many friends and contacts who own their own companies, and have had many talks about fear. We all get it. Never in the same way, but we all get it. Some get it when they are too busy, others when they aren’t busy enough. We get it on projects that scare us,  and clients that torture us. We get it just because it is Monday and the start of a new week. Or we get it on Friday because the week didn’t end right. The fear is in every solo business owner just waiting for the moment to pop out and yell surprise…to scare you so badly that you wonder if you made the right decision. You contemplate getting a “real job” again, no matter how much you love what you do and loathed working for other people. You can’t help it – you’re terrified. You dream about the security of a steady paycheck, a 401K and the clients just waiting for you. You even think sitting in commuter traffic wouldn’t be so bad. You would get to listen to musci, right? You think that the decision you made to abandon security and go on your own was crazy, and you don’t even know what made you do it. You may even look at job postings in your industry and think…maybe? Fear makes people do, think and say crazy things.

But, instead of giving into the fear, we must tackle it. Rise above it. Show it who’s boss and kick it’s sorry little butt. To do that takes a lot of strength, a lot of courage, and a lot of knowing that you can.You have to be able to know that even if your week/month is bad, that it will get better. Or, a tough client is just pushing you to learn something (even if it is just how to swear under your breath while smiling). Side note, I feel a bit like Stuart Smalley at the moment…”I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”… Anyway, the point is that while fear can be debilitating and downright torturous, what would be even worse would be to give into the fear and let it take us over.

So what do we do? We stand up and shout “Fear can kiss my butt”.

Then, we start working harder, and more effectively and soon, the fear has gone away and we are back in the spot where we love to be – loving our businesses. We remember why we started it, why we enjoy it and that even if the days are long and times get tough, it is still our business. We are our own boss, don’t have to sit in commuter traffic, can pick our own clients and can work in our p.j’s. Being a solo business owner is never going to be easy, and we all know that. So as long as we remember why we started it in the first place, the fear can’t stick around for long.

When is the last time you felt fear? Share your stories of how you’ve dealt with this demon…

Oh, and thanks to @antony511 for the awesome headline! BTW readers, I’ll think you’re even awesomer than you already are if you can name to what the headline is in reference.

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